The Bible: The Ultimate Handbook And
Guide To Parenting 2
Dear students in Christ,
"But wisdom is justified of her
children." Mathew 11:19
Worksheet 1 in the Family series covered topics from loving
discipline to teaching your child how to bring in the money in a
Godly innovative way. This particular Bible Study (B.S) guide sheet
will be focusing on other ways God directs us to raise our family
in a Christ-like manner from home made sacrifices to celebratory
meals.
Burnt Offerings
To raise our family in a Christ- like manner one needs to consider
firstly, have we thanked our good Lord for our children? One way of
doing this is to offer your first born to God. "And they came to
the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar
there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and
laid him on the altar upon the wood. And Abraham stretched forth
his hand, and took the knife to slay his son." Genesis
22:9-10
Of course, the difficulty here is that if you only have one child
(to please Yahweh, it has to be male) or if you are childless then
you need to throw away any contraceptives, or get the doctor to
undo your tubes. This means that you have to start breeding like
rabbits like good True Christians. However, if you have a daughter
as a first born child then you need to transform her into a male.
This can be done by fashioning a penis out of wax or using an
appropriate vegetable, baby carrot will do, or some pliable plastic
and use it as a penis substitute. The Lord will be quite frankly
pleased at your innovative quick thinking to cheaply sex changing
your child for Him.
Let the sacrifice begin!
Glory!
Little Recipes Of Love
"And the king said, Bring me a sword.
And they brought a sword before the king. And the king said, Divide
the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the
other." 1 Kings 3: 24 -25
Following on from child sacrifice is to turn your child offering to
God into a festivity - call it Cannibal Day!
"And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered,
This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day,
and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat
him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may
eat him: and she hath hid her son." The Bible suggests here boiling
your child but personally I prefer a home made Italian style
pasta-baked child with black olives, courgettes, mushrooms,
aubergines (eggplant), pasta and herbs. Topped off with a yummy
cheese sauce. It should be cooked to perfection making the meat
exquisitely succulent
But of course I shall leave you to your personal preferences.
Happy eating!
We Are Family
"If any man come to me, and hate not
his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and
sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:26
The Bible: The Ultimate Handbook And Guide To Parenting also means
that raising a Godly family means having to hate them. The New
Testament is really quite clear on how we should perceive the role
the family plays in the eyes of God. Husbands and wives should in
all actuality marry, not out of love but out of a common disliking
for each other - what better way to further God's family hate plan
than this? And children should be brought up to believe sibling
rivalry is not only healthy but again it falls into the Godly
tapestry of family unvirtues and family dissolution.
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to
send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance
against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the
daughter in law against her mother in law). And a man's foes shall
be they of his own household." Mathew 10:34 -36
Adopt your enemy and his/her family
today!
Any negative emotion such as angst, jealousy, distrust, hate, self
hate, loathing, anger etc should not be seen as dysfunctional
attributes or qualities but as functional ones. In short you should
feel proud and blessed as parents if your children grow up to be
anti social, psychopaths, sociopaths, recidivists etc. To allow the
emotion of love in your immediate family is really breaking the
tenets of all that Christianity stands for. However, if you do back
slide and find yourself loving your nearest and dearest then God
and my sage advice to you is to seek therapy. Your mind-set will be
put right thus enabling you to truly adhere to our Lord's
demands.
Don't Call Me Babe
"And call no man your father upon the
earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven." Matthew
23:9
Children to really show respect to your parents, it is advised that
you should use your parents’ first names when addressing them at
all times. After all familiarity breeds contempt which again is the
whole point of our Lord's doctrine and guideline for the family. It
is imperative that for once we follow the directives in the Bible
to the letter or else we are all damned which isn't a pleasant
thought.
Summary
"Beware of false prophets, which come
to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."
Mathew 7:15
The Bible: Ultimate Handbook And Guide To Parenting clearly
outlines family values which are in some cases utilised in today's
modern society. However, modern "Christians", find it all too easy
to shy away from biblical teaching and practice. Claiming that the
rules of the Old Testament are invalid because of the Lord's "new"
covenant with His people.
This is a lie propagated by the devil and fundamentalist
'Christians' who are really "The synagogue of Satan". Revelations
2:9, and in short they are nothing more than sheep in wolves
clothing.