Although it is true that The Penis is the most deadliest of Satan's
Tools, there is another Tool of Satan that makes the penis limp in
comparison. This horrible fleshy gaping maw that can only lead to
the Abyss and Perdition sits in dark places where even Angels fear
to tread.
Beware the Vagina Dentata!
Fables and myth and political party policies will have the unwary
believe that The Vagina is equally as harmless as smoking pot or
the consumption of caffeine; a clever marketing and propaganda ploy
devised by Satan's Minions to claim that everything pleasurable is
good.
Well it isn't.
Research shows us that The Vagina is the equivalent of a bio-weapon
of mass destruction with advanced A.I (Artificial Intelligence)
capability. It will instantly devour anything that comes into its
proximity thanks to its enhanced sensor array that on the surface
appears to be pubic hair but is in reality a type of cilium that
provides short bursts of air borne propulsion that allows the
Vagina to 'jump' onto its prey.
Although technically blind The Vagina like the Chiroptera family
uses echolocation which is a perceptual system where ultrasonic
sounds are emitted specifically to produce echoes. By comparing the
outgoing pulse with the returning echoes the brain and auditory
nervous system can produce detailed images of the Vagina's
surroundings. This allows The Vagina to detect, localize and even
classify prey in complete darkness. The Vagina attracts its victims
by exuding pheromones some what akin to the old myth of the Sirens
who would bewitch sailors by their hypnotic song, and like a
Praying Mantis- devours them during the act of copulation.
This dear friends is The Vagina.
It is a mutant abnormality normally associated with the female of
the species but since 1979 has been found to be prevalent in some
men who find completion either dressing up as women or who are
under the psychic influence of The Vagina who cunningly insists
they have a change of sex if not a change of heart. Thus proving
without a doubt how much a vile tool of Satan The Vagina
realistically is!
It detatches itself from the host body with its foremost crab like
'arms' and is supported by a carapace that has 6-8 spidery leg like
protruberances (dependent upon the variation of the species) that
are normally hidden whilst The Vagina is in sleep mode but they can
be seen when its literally on the prowl.
Its countenance is one of innocence and its mentality is almost
like a doting canine that will make squelching and smacking noises
of pleasure when patted, tickled or played with and at the height
of its demonstrative 'love' will whip out its frog like tongue
faster than the eye can perceive it and thusly uses it as a suction
clamp to secure its host; whilst its inner mouth extends to engulf
and devour with its grinning teeth that looks like a rictus smile.
It is somewhat reminscent of the monster from Alien in that
regards.
The Vagina has a mottled bulbous deformed head made out of chitin
which covers the outside of its body and is thus immune to
predators; whilst its underbelly is fleshy and soft and highly
sensitive to touch, thus quite often wetness leaks out of its pores
and often from its excited mouth giving it the appearance of a
drooling moron. When it is hungry which is almost always it sidles
up to its prey and in a parody of an embrace sucks the life out of
its victims whilst simultaneously munching away on them.
The message is quite clear: Without a doubt The Vagina is the most
dangerous creature devised by Nature in greater proportion to its
male counterpart: The Terrorising Penis. Although The Vagina may
emasculate The Penis - at least it does so with a toothy
grin....